Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
