I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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