dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
