I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
