Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
