:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
