He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize