my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize