5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
