fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
