Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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