New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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