does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
