i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
