The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
