You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
