hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
