i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
These tits shall not be calmed
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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