So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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