she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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