Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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