He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
