Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
