let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
