It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
as a side note pls kill me
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
