then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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