I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
