That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
