Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
