playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
