Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
