just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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