All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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