so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
