I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
