Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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