All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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