i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
