it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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