That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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