it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
