i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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