i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
