I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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