Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
