So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
