woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize