Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I use my feet as sexual weapons
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
