Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
