I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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