you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize