Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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