why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
When did angry sex become our thing?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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