Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
