from now on my penis is your penis
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
