So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My dick has a subreddit
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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