It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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