Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
