Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
