You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
