He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
