everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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