Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
