I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
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Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
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Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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