and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
