I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
