chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The adults are the big ones right?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
