I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
