Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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